life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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