ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
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