Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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