I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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