after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
