conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
