96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
