we have officially mastered the walk of shame
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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