That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
All the doctor said was why
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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