i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize