The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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