whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
The best revenge is premature balding
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Let's paint friendship bongs
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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