We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
