we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize