i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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