I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
one two three fourrrrnication!
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
