i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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