sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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