So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
