THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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