He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
