my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
