two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I forget how to act sober
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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