my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Randomize
