I wanna passion pit in your ass
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
