I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
