respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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