You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
