Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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