The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
