dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
