u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
