Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
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