no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
