Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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