all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
then he tried to convert me to islam
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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