Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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