i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
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