Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
My friends, they love my intelligence
...so i touched it.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
