i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
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