So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
