My cat gives me a boner
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
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I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
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Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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