I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
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