Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
