Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
