She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
