Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize