my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I wish there were birth control emojis
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
the liver wants what the liver wants
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
