He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
