I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
