Tell her she can't have a vagina
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
