Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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