I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
