At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
