My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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