Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
It's blow job season.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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