I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
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im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
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The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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