you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
