That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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