we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
