Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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