i don't like sucking hair
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
