I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
