i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
A+ Viking dick
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
