she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
