just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
