Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
