I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
