I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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