this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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