Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
found the other keg... it's in the tree
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You have to summon your inner elephant
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
