We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
