I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
