I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
