...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
